Friday, September 19, 2008

Good-bye my sweet puppy





September 18th is a day I'll never forget. The day I knew would someday come, sooner or later, but I was hoping much later. You try to prepare yourself for days like the 18th, and even though you are receiving countless signs that the day is near, you just hope deep down, that it will never come. Almost 14 years ago my "first born" came into our lives, weighing a mere 3.5 pounds. He was my first dog on my own...our first dog as a couple. He really was our first child. He was sooooo spoiled. From day one, he stole my heart and he followed me wherever I went......for 14 years. At times it annoyed me, especially with 2 kids, I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself, Spanky was always right there. He's always followed me room to room, and always sat by me. For all those years, he slept right by my legs in bed too......but now he's gone. He used to "talk" to us by making a whimper sound and sometimes that would get on your nerves, now I would do anything to hear that sound. My heart aches for him. As Chase said, "the house seems so empty without him here". That is so true. After 14 years of him being right there by my feet at every step...there's just emptiness. The house just seems so different without him here. I know it will get easier as time passes,but now it hurts. To those of you who don't understand all this greif over a dog, I tell you...it's so hard because Spanky was so many things to me. My sweet puppy who use to love to play tug of war with his towel, who used to "suckle" his blankie up until just a few months ago, when he was resting beside me on the couch or bed. He loved to go for car rides. He thought he was part cat, and use to lye on the upper cushions of the couch. In our first house, we had a bay window that he would lye in all day while we were at work, so he could look out the window and wait for us to return. He could give "five" and speak, and lye down when told. When the kids were babies, he was very protective of them. He always lied in bed with me when I was sick or if i worked nights, he slept with me the next day. He would lick me when I cried, or if I had a cut. He was there when I had a bad day and even when I yelled at him, stayed right by me. I love Spanky and will never forget him and will always love him and miss him. It hurts to know he will never again be at my feet or by my legs while sleeping. I hope and pray, that he had a good life with me. I hope he knew how much I loved him and how much I will miss him. September 18th was one of the hardest days of my life...... it is the day I chose to put an end to another living things life, and I pray, it was the right decision. I know in my heart that it was, but I wasn't ready.....to let go and I want him back. I hope and pray that dogs do go to heaven, and that he is lying at the feet of Jesus now, instead of mine. I love you Spanky. There will never be a dog like you in my life, you were so special and I'm thankful I had you for so many years.

4 comments:

Three Against One said...

It is such a sad day! Killian will miss coming over and playing/smelling Spanky as we will miss his sweet face too. It is so hard to put them to sleep but you have to know that deep down you did the right thing. Hannah was my first baby too, as well as mine and Cory's first dog together and she too was SO spolied, as I have told you many times I still miss her to this day and would give anything to see her once more, but I have to just hold onto the memories of her now. I too pray that she is in heaven and one day I will see her again.

Stuarts said...

Tia keeps asking for Spanky and saying that she's sad that Spanky died, which is a little random since she hardly ever had any contact with Spanky. I'm sorry again. Dogs become family. They are memory markers of life and when they leave it almost seems like some of those memories die with them. Bye sweet Spanky!

Stuart Fam said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I imagine your feelings of having to put him down don't help matters. Maybe a new puppy is just what the doctor ordered!

Julie said...

Something thing weird is going on with this blog thing. I do have an update even though it doesn't show it on yours or Becke's blog. Kelli's is okay, huh I don't get it!

(IN)COURAGE -SO great...check it out!

CHASE

CHASE

BROOKE

BROOKE

DEWEY

DEWEY

SPANKY

SPANKY

our family

our family

My CUTIES

My CUTIES